It wasn’t just about getting a Master’s degree…

Torn between your ambitions and the decision to settle down in life, making a choice wasn’t easy especially when you have been a part of the corporate world for almost 3 years. In all this turmoil I spoke to a couple of people, seeking advices, weighing out both the options. I remember asking my acquaintances in the same university that is it really worth leaving your job, and again totally becoming a dependent on your parents for higher studies. One of them replied saying, that it wasn’t just about getting a degree but it is much beyond it. Today after 2 years when I take the walk and finally fulfill my dream of getting masters, I realized that truly it wasn’t just about getting a master’s degree.
It wasn’t just about getting your ego shattered a zillion times,
It was also about picking up every broken piece, gluing them together and bounce back.
It wasn’t just about learning how to care for people,
It was also about realizing when to draw the line and back off.
It wasn’t just about getting used to scoring low,
It was also about realizing that your grade is not a judge of what you know.
It wasn’t just about learning that knowledge is power,
It was also about accepting that at times Ignorance is bliss.
It wasn’t just about realizing that your emotions are your biggest weakness,
It was also about making your emotions your soul strength.
It wasn’t just about accepting that people have their own priorities-sleeping, work or outing,
It was also about revisiting your own priorities and re-ordering them.
It wasn’t just about loving people around and away from you,
It was also about appreciating your own self and loving the one person who truly deserves to be happy.
It wasn’t just about living on experimental cooking,
It was also about appreciating every meal your mom ever cooked!
It wasn’t just about slogging day and night to complete assignments,
It was also about realizing after two years that there is always time for things you really want to do!
It wasn’t just about missing your home and family,
It was also about finding a new family of friends, a home away from home.
It wasn’t just about tasting success in life,
It was also about “learning how to deal with failure”.
It wasn’t just about making mistakes in life,
It was also about extracting the lesson out of it and never repeating them again!
Finally to end with a cliché,
It wasn’t just about thanking your parents for every bit of values they brought you up with,
It was also about deciding what kind of upbringing you would want your kids to have :) :)

Time to turn it off...

Off late I have been wondering what has so gone wrong with me that I have become so cranky, agitated; usually I am a very patient person… is it the age… the stress around… peer pressure.. a turmoil within… the question was un-answered..
As the technical term goes I had to do a “Root Cause Analysis” and “Inspection Meeting” to find out the reason behind the anxiety. The metrics were shocking… Expectations from others scored the highest; being over emotional and too many processes overusing the patience quota had a tie at the second spot… As one of the so called friends pointed it out to me one day;“ You are the senti and the mental types….“ ; Yes I am… that’s my basic nature.. Now do I change that also.. Unfortunately, the answer to this was yes… to a certain extent… Why was I expecting too much from everyone around… to be truthful from the people I considered close… but alas! I forgot no one is bound to do anything for me… If they were doing something out of their way, it was their kindness… If they did not do something … I am not supposed to feel bad about it and get upset or get angry at them… Why was I judging every situation based on the fact that how I would have reacted to that… Every human is unique… Probably subconsciously I was trying to re-create scenarios from the past… too bad…
One of my friends always tells me “A person who tries to make everyone happy is the saddest person himself”… so true… Another tells …”I overthink and have too many procedure calls…” Recently I saw a television series in which the protagonist is compelled to turn off her emotions… and she becomes all cheerful and vivacious… was this the solution… why not give it a try… some unexplainable feeling dawned upon…Was it really the time to slowly turn it off… If people are making fun… wow I should say… I made someone’s day !!! I was surprised by myself… I had become witty, quick, to a certain extent snappy… people seemed taken aback, probably I am more fun now… no emotional baggage… no strings attached… no more the cry baby… No expectations from anyone… coz that’s what hurts the most… the worst being when people around don’t even realize it… I know I am fighting it out well… but then … somewhere within I know… “Half of my heart has got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time….!!!!”

R V THANKFUL!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???

3-4 days back i was having horrible lunch in my office cafeteria...and cribbing as usual about the insipid food served everyday.. just after sometime one person came and sat two chairs away from mine.. people keep coming and going so i kept chatting with my friend but something suddenly caught my attention.. the guy had sandwich and juice.. and i saw he was praying before going to start his meal.. and whoooshhh.. i was completely taken by surprise and then remorse and realization dawned upon.... the same food i was cribbing about.. someone is actually thanking God for that meal...and shouldn't we actually be thankful.. for each meal we are blessed with..
There is a board put up in my office.. which says... "Don't waste your food... i haven't got mine.." But how many of us actually even give a single thought to this line...We humans are just never satisfied.. well i feel if you are unsatisfied... you will keep working towards perfection.. but that does not mean we should not be grateful.. for this life we have got.. for the life everyday we are living..
Life is so uncertain that we are not even sure that we'll be seeing tomorrow's sunrise..but still we spend each moment complaining about our life.. How many of us actually thank God for whatever we have..even I myself keep complaining about every smal thing... "yeh nahin hai.. woh nahin hai.. life aisi kyun hai..".. hardly do we say.. "wow yaar.. what a life i have..Thank God i have this life.."
My mom always gives me a very simple example about the movie SAJAN... where there is a scene when Sanjay Dutt goes to the Church to challenge God for his physical disability but when he sees a man without both the legs praying and thanking God he realizes his mistake...
This example really touches me but i always believe.. "If you want to be contended.. look at people below you.. and if you want to be successful always look at people above you.." but in all this thoughts and beliefs..why do we forget to be Grateful.. Its good to aim high but that never implies that we should not be indebted for what we have..
Thank every person who had even a small part to play in your life.. who touched your life.. even for a second.. Thank God for giving us this wonderful life.. Ending with a reflection on what Lord Buddha had said “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.” and “If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped”.. Cheers..

Before it's too late.........

Just now my friend was narrating a short movie they are planning to make..the story talks about 3 friends.. one couple and another friend.. and something about 26/11 incident where the girl dies before she could get reunited wid her lover... and hearing the story just left me thinking.. sometimes we just take things for granted and forget to do/say things before it's too late...
A recent incident in which we lost one of our close friends... due to certain issues i hadn't spoken to her from quite sometime.. and now... hah... i can never hear her.. i was just taking things for granted... and now there is nothing left other than just regretting and praying that wish i could go back in time and mend things... but now it's just too too late..
"TIME PASSES..EVEN WEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE..Even wen each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise...pass does it" as time is the best healer...but time can never surrogate for someone...
Go tell someone if you love them.. care for them.. miss them.. tell mom that you are evergrateful to her for bringing u into this world.. for loving you so much.. for nurturing u so that u can become a beautiful human being..tell ur dad how much proud u r of being his son/daughter...tell your friends u love them as they are one of the reasons for your being.. before it's too late to turn back time.. let not our ego come in between... let not our busy schedule hold us from making someone feel how important they are for us...as rightly said by Benjamin Franklin Lost time is never found again and we can never get back whats lost..

ANGELS but thankfully no DEAMONS.. part II :)

The last time i was talking about an angel was the time when i was going home.. Now this is the time when i was returning... Luckily i had a chance to meet another angel on my way back.. i was going to take a flight from Delhi..the flight from Varanasi got late and i reached 20 min before the flight from Delhi....
The airlines people did not allow me to board the flight.. i was almost in tears but couldn't make a show in public.. finally i paid a fine and booked the next flight to Bangalore with the same airlines which was @ 8... i would probably reach @ 10.30- 11.00 and then 1.5 hrs back to my home... the thought of traveling alone @ night freaked me out.. my parents were fully stressed back home but there was nothing they could do from there.. they asked me to call my cousin after reaching Bangalore but firstly i did not want to trouble him and next my ego did not want to take anyone's favor..( wrong decision on my part )
i was all alone waiting at the Delhi airport and cursing my luck.. then finally i boarded the flight and it reached airport at around 11.00.. at that time i did not know much about Meru cabs.. Dad had asked me to stay at the airport and then get back early morning.. but morning i had to go to office and also when i reached airport i came to know that there is no such facility as staying in airport..
I had no other option but go out and take the BIAS buses.. Though i am non- alcoholic i took God's name and prayed for some dutch courage;);).. i asked the bus people and found there is no bus that goes till my area but there was another which comes near my area but it was very risky as from there i had to take an auto.. and it would be around 1.00 am when i would have reached near my area...
I was contemplating what to do but then i thought.. lets go.. as there was no other option left.. The reason i did not want to take my cousin's or any friends help was simply because i had not come to Bangalore depending on anyone.. what if i did not know anyone here.. we should always try to be self sufficient..
So now when i was about to board the bus.. i saw another guy asking about the area i wanted to go and then he also was about to board the other bus which was going the nearest to our area..
I don't know what vibes i got, i thought the guy was descent and i again asked the conductor in front of him and then he asked me where i am going.. he said we could share the auto from there.. don't know why i agreed..i felt he was a nice guy.. poor him he slept off in the bus.. my few friends who came to know about this mishap called me up and offered help but it was difficult for them also as even they wouldn't get auto at the wee hours of the night.. so when my stop came it was around one and i saw that guy was still fast asleep.. out of my helping nature and also that i needed that guy to help me get an auto atleast i thought of waking him up.. "excuse me, the stop has come".. he woke with a start.. we got down..
Like a fool i had jam packed my suit case and it was extremely heavy.. he helped me put it down from bus.. then when we got down, the area near my place.. which is over crowded during day... was scary and eerie at night.. the auto person asked 100 bucks.. the guy got irritated and he suggested we should cross and take auto from other side.. autos were very very few in nos.. and i thought .." gosh, why is he bothering about money.. its important we reach home safely.." but i kept mum..
he offered to carry my bag to cross the part as it was quite an amount of distance we had to cross..chivalrous.. :) he did for some distance but i did not want to take advantage so i carried .. actually somehow dragged my suitcase.. finally we got an auto for 60 bucks.... but while we were crossing.. don't know why he said.." if i was alone i would have walked only.." he had all the rights to say that.. but truth really hurts.. poor him i was actually a burden at that time.. but i really needed his help.. finally we got into the auto and he offered to drop me first.. though his place came first.. i felt bad and offered him 40.. he took only 30.. saying he actually wouldn't have taken money but then.. i don't know but in auto i asked him from where he is coming.."chennai..".. i told him how i had missed flight and got in this trouble.. he shouldn't think that i am half mad to travel so late at night.. once i got down don't know why i asked his name.. thanked him.. thanked god.. for sending an angel..who got me home safely..he stays near to my place.. but i never got to see him again.. perhaps because in that DARK NIGHT and ANXIOUS situation i hadn't noticed his face properly.. though i think he was cute;);)
Later i actually smiled at the whole situation.. it was just like a movie.. "JAB WE MET;);).." ishstyle.. but thankfully not literally.. and when we were walking to get an auto it seemed as if.. "HUM RATLAM KI GALIYON MEIN CHAL RAHE HAIN ITNI RAAT KO":):):)... quite an imagination i must say.. but at that frantic situation nothing struck me.. all this funny thoughts came in later.. i wish i would have actually met SHAHID.. but whoever he was, he was really really helpful at that hour of need.. otherwise don't know what would have happened..............

ANGELS but thankfully no DEAMONS:)

Its been rightly said that "Strangers are friends we haven't yet met....."
sometimes we come across people who have an everlasting impact in our lives and they leave us wondering... DO ANGELS STILL PREVAIL???????
I was doing my internship in Bangalore after college...as usual missing the amazing college life i had had. This used to make me feel more home sick and it was during march that my parents were supposed to come over to Bangalore but due to some problem they could not turn up and i felt numb at the thought of not seeing them soon..
Suddenly plan was made that i could have a small 3 day trip back home so immediately dad had my tickets done.My joys knew no bounds:):):)
Off late the Bangalore airport has been shifted to the outskirts and it takes around 1.5 to 2 hrs to reach the airport. In excitement i got up on time to take the bus for airport but as luck would have had i couldn't get the bus at the right time and now i became anxious and moved to another bus stop and came to know that the bus from there also had left:(:(.. i was so nervous as what to do coz my flight was scheduled one n a half hour from then and there was no way i could reach airport on time...
i saw another good looking girl standing there worried that she had missed her bus.From somewhere this guy turned up... may be an angel sent by GOD.. he came and asked both of us if we three could share a taxi to airport.Since it was the only ray of hope i could see so i agreed and also because another girl was there with me. Both their flights were @ a later time but the guy asked the driver to drive fast...and fast.. and faster.. it seemed as if he was missing his flight... i mean generally guys tend to be extra sweet to girls who are eye candies or perhaps much better than average... but seeing someone being so concerned about a girl.. completely stranger and much below average in looks made me believe... the world still homes genuine people..
Thanks to my stars i reached airport 15 min before departure.. i wasn't aware about the UDF charge but the guy asked me to pay that and he ran to the entrance with my suitcase... poor him.. leaving that fragile looking pretty girl to carry her own luggage as at that time my getting into the flight was top most priority... By god's grace the airlines people allowed me to check in.. 10 min to go.. i ran towards the security check.. and just before going for security check the guy said "have a safe flight.. drink some water after boarding.. you will feel better:):)"those words seemed sweeter than honey at that moment and i thanked him and ran... my heart blessed him and in a hurry i couldn't take his contact details to than him properly... but wherever he will be.. i am sure he will be giving angelic touch to people's life.. i would always be sincerely thankful to him.. i mean in this world where friends also act as strangers.. someone came out of the blue and touched my life....

P.S.: PART 2 COMING SOON;);)

PROLOGUE;)

Many of my friends have asked me to start blogging and to tell the truth i have tried once on some other blogging site. but somehow it has not worked out till date. Don't know why i suddenly joined eblogger and am writing my first blog at this wee hours of morning... but something is there.. some turmoil inside that is provoking me to write(i can write only when i am emotional;))
so yes as i was telling abut friends suggesting me to start blogging.. well dunno what fun or pleasure or comfort it gives.. but it surely has some charm.. and finally i decided to experience this charm...
My writing won't seem hi-fi or something out of the world but i hope it will have something(at least even if its a line)interesting to read and i hope to gather some readers atleast..:)